| Couple's worlds collide with happy results TRUE ROMANCE 06/03/2001 By LEAH FACKOS KLUMPH / Special Contributor to The Dallas Morning News
Despite coming from different worlds, Alexandra Gurianova and Jeff Cogburn
cemented their relationship through a shared pragmatic approach to life.
But first they had to find each other.
Alexandra, who goes by her Russian nickname Sasha, came to Dallas as an
exchange student from western Ukraine in August 1995.
Mark M. Hancock / DMN Jeff Cogburn proposed to Alexandra Gurianova during Christmas at her parents' in Ukraine. |
Sasha, then 15, was dedicated to her studies. She supplemented her
regular senior classes at Bryan Adams High School with night and
correspondence courses so she could take home an American diploma.
She returned home the summer of 1996, graduated from her Ukrainian high
school and went on to attend the free university for two years. During
that same time, Sasha's father died and her mother lost her job. Job
prospects in Ukraine were bleak.
From the time she left Dallas, Sasha corresponded via e-mail with her
Dallas host mom, Ninva Barkham. Mrs. Barkham was struck by one of the
e-mails in which Sasha quoted authorities there as saying that the
Ukrainian economy would not improve for 60 years. Mrs. Barkham rallied
family and friends to sponsor Sasha so she could return to Texas for a
college education in computers.
Sasha returned to Dallas in August 1998 to attend Eastfield Community
College. She worked hard, and in January 2000, she was awarded an
academic scholarship to attend the University of Texas at Dallas and
study computer science.
In the meantime, out in East Texas, Jeff graduated from high school in
Marshall in 1997. Finishing in the top 10 of his graduating class, he
was in the honor society and had won many awards for his talents as a
percussionist. Many in the community expected he would pursue a
scholarship in music.
Instead, after graduation, practical Jeff went on a two-week mission
trip to Mexico, and then enrolled at ITT Technical Institute, which, at
the time, was in Garland.
He graduated on June 3, 1999, his birthday, and got a job as a network
center technician for Southwestern Bell the very same day.
Sasha and Jeff's worlds intersected by chance in March 2000. As he did a
couple of times a week, Jeff went over to his friend and former roommate
Mohammed's house late one evening after work. Sasha, who shared an
ethics class with Mohammed, just happened to still be there studying for
an exam.
Sasha and Jeff were introduced. "I was definitely attracted," says Jeff.
"She had an accent; she was cute and someone I wanted to get acquainted
with." Jeff was attracted by Sasha's openness, and they wound up talking
for many hours that evening.
From the beginning, Sasha says, Jeff set himself apart from other men
she had met. "What I valued in Jeff – he respected me in every way," she
says. "He was attentive to what I was saying and how I was feeling."
For the next month, they saw each other in a group setting. "But I had
this gut feeling ... that there was something there, but I was kind of
shy," says Jeff, 21.
"I was curious what he was feeling," says Sasha, also 21.
Jeff admits he was waiting to see if she would make a move. She finally
did, in Jeff's mind. They were walking down a cinema complex hallway.
"She bumped into me, and I pushed her back," he says. Both say it was
their first overt flirtation.
"It just gradually and slowly grew into the relationship where we would
spend more time, the two of us," says Sasha.
Up to this point, there was no spoken commitment between them. They
talked in terms of enjoying the time they spent together and continuing
to explore the relationship. "Every spare moment we had, we were
together," says Jeff. "We never did talk about marriage, but I would
think about it all the time." By early November, Jeff knew "this is
going to be her." He began shopping for a ring, bought one and hid it in
his closet.
Sasha got the opportunity to go to Ukraine and visit her family in
December 2000.
"I wanted to meet her mom before I asked her," says Jeff, so he marked
out all his vacation time so he, too, could go to the Ukraine.
Before they left, Sasha saw Jeff packing a FedEx box that he had put the
ring in. Sasha thought it was a silver charm to go on the charm bracelet
Jeff had bought for her mid-November birthday.
After Jeff got to the Ukraine, met her family and felt that they liked
him, he tried to figure out where to present Sasha with the ring. The
perfect choice, a place called "the wedding palace," where many
Ukrainians got married, was closed for renovation. Jeff's second choice
was a "magnificent old opera house" where they went to see
Swan Lake. "But the atmosphere was wrong," he says. "There were too
many little kids hanging around."
The following evening was Dec. 24, and although most Russians don't
celebrate Christmas until Jan. 7, Sasha's mom got a tree for Jeff, and
the family trimmed it that day. (Sasha and her family are ethnic
Russians with Ukrainian citizenship).
"One of my main goals in going over there was to show her family that
they could trust me and rely on me to support her," says Jeff.
"Everything was set in place. I felt they knew I could do this."
He led Sasha into the room in her mother's apartment where he was
staying. He then got the ring out, got down on his knee, and told her to
open her eyes. "I told her that I love her and that I wanted to be with
her always," says Jeff. "I told her our journey together is like the
loop of the ring, never ending, and my love for her would burn as long
as the fire in [the] diamond."
They will marry Sunday, Jeff's birthday, at Lakeview Christian Church in
Dallas.
Sasha will graduate from UTD in January and hopes to pursue a master's
degree in computers. She says she never imagined that in returning to
the United States this would happen.
"I always give thanks to my mom raising me to be who I am, and thanks to
my dad's mom, who taught me English, [which] was the start of my journey
to the United States. I am very happy that my journey led me to Jeff and
that our life roads crossed."
If you have a True Romance or Anniversary story idea, send e-mail to
Leah Klumph at .
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