| Larry Powell: Cowboys in Super Bowl? That may ring a bell with Aikman 01/26/2001 By / The Dallas Morning News Good morning, and, gee whillikers, this almost slipped past us. Best of luck to the Dallas Cowboys in Sunday's Super Bowl.
Relax. I was just testing Troy Aikman's reflexes. If the Cowboys' quarterback read that and suddenly bolted for the door and the airport, then maybe those concussions are having an effect.
Sure, it doesn't seem like a real Super Bowl when the Cowboys aren't in it. Good grief, we have to watch the New York Giants play the Baltimore Ravens. How East Coast can you get?
To help you die-hard Dallas fans adjust, I've dug out this quote from Mr. Aikman: "It will become a real chess game with the coordinators matching wits against wits and seeing what it is you're going to do." No, that's not a Super Bowl quote – it's from early September 2000, when the Cowboys still had a chance on paper to get into the big game. But they don't play on paper, do they?
How'd they do in that "chess match?" Philadelphia flattened Dallas, 41-14. Running back Emmitt Smith said, "When you get blown out the way we did, everything is bad. The water is nasty. The towels don't smell good. The showers don't feel warm. If there was a word for the way we played, you couldn't write it."
Now, as the football season is about to end, here is that special word to describe the Cowboys, the word Mr. Smith suggested we couldn't print. And that word, representing the ugliest, nastiest, most disappointing of season-long performances ending with a whole team wearing buckets of barnyard slop instead of Super Bowl champagne, is "Cowbugly." You can't get much uglier than Cowbugly.
• A GINGER THEORY – You have, no doubt, read about or heard about "Ginger." That's the nickname given by brainiac Dean Kamen to his secret invention that is supposed to change our lives and make the world a better place. All will be revealed in 2002, he says. If the inventor has such a big heart, why is he waiting until 2002 to help mankind?
Surely there are good reasons – financing, insurance, focus groups, etc.
But, here's the real reason for waiting until 2002: All the ad spots for the 2001 Super Bowl were sold.
What better place to reveal something of global importance (and commercial value) than the Super Bowl? Especially if the Cowboys are in it, which, of course, we expect for 2002. Ha.
Can't you see Ginger ads? "Super Bowl 2002 – brought to you by Ginger, changing how we live one yard at a time." "This extra point attempt brought to you by Ginger – you'll get a kick out of Ginger." "After further review, Ginger and the refs say the call on the field stands."
This item may read as if I'm kidding, but if Ginger turns out to be some sort of personal transportation device like a flying skateboard, expect one humdinger of a Super Bowl 2002 halftime show.
Besides, as The Associated Press reported, Mr. Kamen's Web site called him an "inventor, physicist and snappy dresser." With that resume, he could easily pass for a player in the NFL – especially that physicist part.
• RATS AND US – Perhaps you read that Massachusetts Institute of Technology scientists, using sophisticated equipment and tempting rats with chocolate, discovered what rats dream about: They dream about what they did during the day. Humans call such dreams "nightmares." Thirty years ago you'd have read about this study and thought someone was pulling your leg. To borrow from Hamlet and tweak, "To sleep? Perchance to dream! Ay, there's the rat."
Larry Powell can be reached at 214-977-8487; P.O. Box 655237, Dallas, TX 75265, fax 214-977-8319 or at .
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