| Steve Blow: Fashioning style with what's out 01/31/2001 By / The Dallas Morning News I think I've finally figured out fashion.
And it really astounds me to make that statement.
See, fashion has always been this big, mysterious world to me – something I never expected to fully comprehend.
Kind of like wine or Elvis.
But wonder of wonders, I had a burst of insight the other day. A moment of clarity. A piercing perception. And possibly acid reflux.
So here it is, all the secrets of the fashion world revealed in three words:
Out is In.
That's it. That's all you really need to know about fashion.
When a style of clothing is so completely out of date that even a mook like me knows it's Out, that's precisely the moment that it's In again.
Voilá! See how easy that is! Out is In.
And by the way, "voilá" is a word that only we very sophisticated fashion types should use. And of course, symphony members who actually play the voilá.
Until this burst of insight arrived, I had always thought of fashion as being on a straight-line scale – with "Very Fashionable" at one end and "Newspaper Reporters" at the other.
Going around in circles
Now I have come to see that fashion is actually a circle, with In and Out occupying the same spot. It's the place where fashion loops back upon itself, the place where Gucci meets Goodwill.
In/Out is the spot on the circle now occupied by cat-eye glasses, polyester shirts and these shoes I have on my feet.
These In/Out high-dollar clodhoppers.
You knew that a shopping trip was probably involved with this flash of fashion insight, didn't you?
It happened at Foley's. In the shoe department.
I'll admit that I was badly in need of shoes. My black tasseled loafers had been resoled so many times that they were starting to look stretched and strange.
Kind of like Cher's face.
Spooky.
So with my wife and daughter as chaperones, I went shopping.
I arrived in the shoe department first. Lori and Ali had been distracted by a sale rack of some sort along the way.
And it was embarrassing. As I browsed, the shoe salesman kept asking if he could help me. 'No, not yet,' I kept replying, trying to sound nonchalant.
I figured he knew the real story perfectly well: "Another 48-year-old man not allowed to shop alone."
Soon the women arrived and I began showing them shoes I had spotted as possibilities.
First shoe: "Ugh!" Second shoe: "Ick!" Third shoe: "Gag!"
I didn't have the heart to hoist a fourth shoe. I was going for a look I'd call "classic." Apparently it was more "clueless."
So I started following Lori and Ali around the shoe department as they pointed out "cool" shoes. Now it was my turn: 'Ugh!' 'Ick!' 'Gag!'
Making a statement
Have you seen men's shoes lately? I swear they're trying to make them as ugly as possible. Big blunt toes. Fat rubber soles.
I tried on a pair and immediately found myself wanting to ask: "Check your oil?"
They looked exactly like the big clunky work shoes that gas station attendants wore back in the days when there were gas station attendants.
At first I resisted buying such silly shoes. But that's when it dawned on me:
Out is In!
If it's tacky, it must be tasteful. If it's ugly, it must be attractive. If it's Out... well then, it's obviously In.
So now I'm In.
And you're about a quart low.
Steve Blow can be reached at 214-977-8374 or .
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