02/09/2001

By / The Dallas Morning News

Good morning, and let's consider our viewing habits.

The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation's "Sex on TV" report says the nation's sets are teeming with sex. Remember when the raciest things on TV were the Hullabaloo dancers and Edie Adams singing Muriel cigar commercials? "By cracky," typed the ancient columnist, "Those were the days. Where's my Geritol? And you didn't have to worry about losing your remote control, either."

Frankly, don't you grow weary of explaining to today's youngsters that "Howdy Doody time" was a puppet show and not a double entendre?

Remember when TV was "the idiot box?" Perhaps you recall what Groucho Marx said about TV: "I must say, I find television very educational. The minute someone turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book." (Aside: After that, however, Groucho became a TV star on You Bet Your Life. And he is given credit for a riotous TV ad-lib of a sexual nature. Ask somebody else to fill you in – don't expect to see it in this space.)

Here's a theory about why sitcoms sink to sexual themes: Television is like major league baseball. There are so many teams that they must depend on a whole lot of mediocre pitchers and not enough aces.

Hmm, having offended the writers' union, there goes my chance to pitch my surefire idea for a successful sitcom, Brothel, Can You Spare a Dime.

• HISTORY AND A SWORD – Danny Medley, a Plano telecommunications employee, has a bit of history he tried to get back to its rightful owner.

It's a World War II-era Japanese officer's sword, complete with scabbard and a swath of Japanese cloth that has protected it for more than a half-century.

Danny came by the sword through his father, Bill. "My father had a good friend, Curt Smith, who brought the sword back with him from World War II. When he died, the sword went to my father, and my father recently gave it to me."

Mr. Smith, who died about two years ago, was a barber in Rising Star, about 180 miles west of Dallas. "Matter of fact," says Danny, "he gave my son his first haircut." Jeffrey, now 26, got that "haircut a long time ago," Danny says. "Man, he screamed and hollered."

We know about Mr. Smith, but what of the Japanese soldier? Danny took the sword to Collin County Community College Japanese teacher Kazuko Scott who, based on writings on the cloth, determined that the sword had been owned by Tokusaburo (also spelled Tokuzaburo) Shimura of Tajimi on Honshu, Japan's largest island. The sword was made by "master swordmaker" Ichimonji Seki.

Here's where the Internet makes this a really small world. With just a few e-mails, Danny says, he was able to find the man's family in Tajimi, and they reported that he died eight years ago. The relatives, according to a family spokeswoman, do not want the sword because, with few exceptions, Japanese citizens may not possess guns or swords.

What will Danny do with the sword? He says, "I think I will keep it, mount it on the wall somewhere and if I can get any more information from the family, I might frame that and place it next to the sword."

So, while the sword survives, the history of this weapon has died with Tokusaburo Shimura of Japan and Curt Smith of Rising Star – two guys who lived through a big war, returned home and went about their business.

Americans drive Japanese cars. Japanese visit America on vacation. Citizens of each nation are linked by e-mail uncensored by governments. Things changed.

Larry Powell can be reached at 214-977-8487; P.O. Box 655237, Dallas, TX 75265, fax 214-977-8319 or at .

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