| Larry Powell: Satchmo, 'Star Trek' cyborg help mix this medley of love 02/14/2001 By / The Dallas Morning News Good morning, sweethearts. And soreheads (everybody should get recognition on St. Valentine's Day).
Yes, it's the day before "National Apology Day," as in, "Holy smoke, sweetheart, I flat forgot about Valentine's Day. Wanna go shoot some pool?" If it takes this column to put romance in your life, (a) I'm proud to help and (b) you're beyond help.
Today's column will be a pastiche of romance. Some may exclaim, "Ah, a hodgepodge!" or "Oh, a potpourri!" Those would be people who cannot pronounce "pastiche." And that's what separates the print press from the electronic media: When you type for a living, you just have to spell "Kiest." (Aside to a local news anchor whose name escapes me: It's pronounced "Keest," an Oak Cliff boulevard and park. It's not "Ki-east." You're lucky nothing newsy happened in Mexia or Bexar County.)
Ah, don't you love watching favorite TV shows with your sweetheart – unless it's sweeps month and stations are intent on breaking into critical dialogue to declare that their Doppler radar/armadillo tracker has detected a drizzle dampening a sand dune outside of Monahans. Thus, a cynic's view of romance: It looks like gentle rain but it's really a storm.
Let's get personal. In a life often bereft of good fortune, I stumbled across a bit of economic joy – my eccentricspouse Martha generally eschews roses. Her favorite flower is the tulip. You poor rose-buyers are maxing out your credit cards today, aren't you?
To fill a moment of reverie and exploit it, I said to Martha, "I believe the most romantic figure of this century is Seven-of-Nine on Star Trek: Voyager."
Naturally, she disagreed. "I believe," she said, "the most romantic figure of our time is either Alan Rickman or Wishbone. I'm really torn on that one."
Wishbone is a Jack Russell terrier who has a TV show on PBS. Alan Rickman is a riot of an actor who was killed by Bruce Willis in Die Hard and wore a fake reptilian headpiece in the space spoof Galaxy Quest with Tim Allen. But Mr. Rickman's most romantic role is as a husband's spirit in Truly Madly Deeply, a British film rich with romance – it is the thinking person's Ghost with cello music.
And what of romantic music? Two Louie Armstrong tunes come to mind: "What a Wonderful World" and, from the 1969 George Lazenby James Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, "We Have All The Time in the World."
Sadly, if you're just now thinking about Valentine's Day, you DON'T have all the time in the world. Red alert tip: Get a crayon and a sheet of typing paper. Fold the paper into a "card" format. On the "cover," draw a bouquet of indeterminate flowers and write, "When the guy on the radio said we had 'dense fog'." Inside write "I never once thought of you, Valentine." Sign a fake name. Creativity is always a hit in romantic moments. Usually.
Ah, romance. Love triumphs all over the screen in such comedies as 1988's Moonstruck with Cher and 1936's My Man Godfrey with William Powell as a "forgotten man," a Depression-era "tramp." Can I recall a romantic John Wayne movie? Yewbet. The Angel and the Badman with Gail Russell. Duke plays gunslinger Quirt Evans and explains to his Quaker girlfriend, "Quirt Evans is a mighty cautious citizen." Words to live by if you were thinking about skipping that Valentine's Day tribute, pilgrim.
Well, I've rambled and now I'll bring you to this point: Like the column you've just read, love is inexplicable.
Larry Powell can be reached at 214-977-8487; P.O. Box 655237, Dallas, TX 75265; via fax at 214-977-8319; or at lrpowell.
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